Otherkin And You
Being Otherkin is to understand a part of yourself that usually lays dormant. It can manifest itself as past lives, deep connections to specific creatures, or other unique and fascinating ways. For me, it is a series of deep and intense memories of being a dragon, or something close to it. I identify as Veladynee, and Veladynee is me. It took me a long time to accept who I was, and in that even longer to even begin the process of understanding how it plays with me and my life. But what does that mean?
Identity is a funny thing. We spend a lot of our lives figuring out who we are, but very rarely do we let ourselves manifest as ourselves. In that I mean truly expressing or accepting each facet of our lives. This has been one of my hardest and still ongoing struggles, and this is beyond just my draconity. What does it mean to be otherkin? The same question applies to anything about ourselves, so let’s take a look at the question of “what does it mean to be me?”
Otherkin-ness is a part of us, to some like myself a significant part, but it isn’t the whole of me. I am a collection of my interests, my desires, my wants, and my independent thoughts. I am also a collection of my memories and experiences, and my memories of a past life only contribute to this. Put simply, I am myself because of everything I’ve collected and added to myself, that is what makes me.
Past life memories like mine only add to my experiences and help contribute to me figuring out who I am, or desire to be known as based on what I’ve collected and feel is right. For me, being a dragon feels right based on everything I know; or have known in the past. Often, we also struggle in accepting those parts of us that we feel others would question; or worry that if we don’t fit some mythical perfect mold we’ll never be liked. The truth is more complicated, and often far from what those worries tell us.
Since I started to accept who I am it has caused friction, mostly due to the fact I haven’t fully settled or figured out a lot of who I am due to repressing it for so long. But, the bits of me that are truly me that I express have led to a great many people accepting and finding joy in me. Now, this doesn’t mean I go around screaming “I’m a dragon!” at the top of my lungs; but knowing that bit of my past has led me to discover things I enjoy in this life and experiences I can relive and share with others, whether they know some of it is dragon related or not.
Identifying is one thing, accepting is another. Many ‘kin have struggled with accepting their identities, both before and after understanding what they are experiencing. I am no exception! I struggled with accepting the real me for a long time, wanting to hide it because I felt unsure how people would receive me if I showed off myself. This struggle can be simply due to embarrassment or other issues, some of which can be ingrained in us via experiences this life. I’ve frequently seen many kin try to bury their identities deeply which, more often than not, causes more issues with the most notable being an increased sense of isolation from others around them.
As dragons, or other species, we often do think and process things differently in our heads, holdovers from a prior life or connection. But at the end of the day, we do also think like and have attributes of what we are now: human. Humans have an innate need to self-actualize to be happy which includes, in many but not all, fulfilling the need to be social or have a group we can express ourselves with. One personal experience here is I used to be closed off about myself and would be isolated, even when having friends surrounding me and actively doing things. I focused purely on my dragon traits and needs from a prior life without addressing what I needed to in this one and it led to a state of general unpleasantness, reflected in both myself and to others. It is a harsh lesson to learn, and one I aim with this post to help guide others.
Living As Yourself
It is key to remember that a prior life was just that: a prior life. Living ones life now requires understanding who we were and where we came from, and looking for what we can apply to this one. This can come in the form of hobbies, ways of looking at the world, or even just things as simple as ways we used to relax. For me, I have taken the same hobby before of rock collecting and enjoying being near the shore. Due to my nature, I am also thinking of learning how to go diving. But at the same time I have made changes in this life that in some ways contradict who I used to be because they make me happy now. It is learning to work with our past life that we can truly move forward and be happy in this one, and beyond! ^^
As for my contradictions and deeper thoughts on my own path to discovering of who I was, I’ll dedicate an entire post on that! ^^