I did more thinking on the subject and wanted to write an extra little bit on it.
Sometimes change requires sacrifice. Now I don’t mean a blood sacrifice or anything of that nature, but letting go of some of the people around us. People can pressure us into fitting into their idea of who people should be. Their idea of the perfect being which doesn’t actually exist. Even though people prefer a certain type of individual, hell I sure prefer certain personality types, it can be easy to become trapped in trying to force or demand people conform to that. It doesn’t even have to be conscious either, it can just be manifested with how comfortable or uncomfortable we are around specific individuals. By nature we form cliques and we expect people to fit in that clique. Sometimes we can want someone in that clique that might have issues, but we demand they change themselves to fit rather than realizing maybe, at this current time, they just don’t work.
A lot of people… No. Most people need to self-actualize before they can be requested or even guided to change. They must first let themselves be WHO they are, entirely. Flaws and all. This is the only way to really see the all of a person, and in turn figure out how to guide behaviors. Demanding someone else, or even imposing it on yourself to try to ‘make’ yourself project a certain way, comes off as obviously fake and insincere. To improve yourself you first have to find most of the facets of what makes you, you. Then, only then, can you really begin to take yourself apart and examine the scuffs.
At the end of the day change for the better must come from within, a desire to improve who you are. At the same time you have to really understand who you are in the first place. Change to appease others is not change, but just adopting a new mask to hide yourself or bits of yourself that need to be addressed. At the end of the day, you must be happy with the person you are, and know the person who you want to become, or even the person who you actually, truly are.