The Importance of Calm
Being at peace is something we have trouble with often. Its easy to let the pressures of the world build on you, letting it in turn build inside you. Tension, fear. Anxiety. It can shorten our lives, and worsen what lives we are already living, dulling every moment that otherwise would be enjoyed. My name is Veladynee and I have major anxiety and pessimistic problems!
Now that the AA meeting intro is out of the way… let’s discuss it.
Anxiety as best I can describe is a constant feeling of fear and uncertainty about the next moment, the current moment, and sometimes even how the past will affect the now. It chews us up from the inside, ready to burst like…. Well a chestburster, for those who are familiar with the Alien franchise. It can cause stress on our loved ones, our partners, even our pets. It is unhealthy to the extreme… and it can seem basically impossible to overcome. So daunting is it that often times we just accept it as life, it can’t get any better, it just is. But there is so much more to life than that, so much brightness, so much liveliness that we ourselves suppress due to our own mind keeping us prisoner.
Most of my life was dull, and often it still is. My mate gets dragged down and suffers breakdowns because sometimes I have trouble controlling these feelings, these oppressive reaching tendrils. But, while it is hard, while every day I struggle… Every day the anxiety is able to hold me less and less. Its grip is not as strong. It used to hold me for days… now it is passing hours, sometimes minutes. The same fears build up and try to grab me, and often times they do. But each time I shrug them off, I tell myself what is, what is around me… not what could be. The reality, the now, the little shimmers of beauty that leap out through every dark corner, illuminating them. Even if they are momentary, they mean more than the crippling darkness.
The Only Thing to Fear is Fear Itself
Okay, the subtitle is quite trite, but true for this context non-the-less. Ignoring any past or political commentary surrounding the quoted individual, let us just focus on those words. Anxiety is fear. Unfounded, primal fear of the unknown. Of the ‘what ifs and could bes’ based on overactive mechanisms designed to protect us. However, by protecting us they shut us out from the world. I freaked out when my favorite car got dinged on the passenger side. That bothered me for a good long while… Until I realized it doesn’t have to, things happen. Its okay, and it can be repaired because it is an object and it happens to everyone. ^^ We get so caught up in the moment, and the ‘oh god it happened to me’ we also fail to account that sometimes things like this are normal. This is not discrediting severe things in life, but we have to not let them control us. We must control them, and find the solution, or at least conquer the demon inside ourselves.
What To Do?
Now I talked plenty about ‘just do the thing’ without providing any ideas on how to do the thing. I learned that I can do constructive things. I bought a guitar to channel a lot of it into, let the music scream my anguish or something equally metal. I write these blogs to help others. In fact when I was having an anxiety attack I picked up the laptop and began writing about my experience, how it feels, right in that moment. Pick up a pencil and paper and doodle, start hammering away at a book. Even do homework! Channel that into not a self destructive force but a force that can conquer something around you, something tangible. Make it your muse not your anchor! Easier said than done, I know. For the first… well year, you will fail at it, it will not be possible. But don’t lose hope, keep trying until you manage to do it, even if once. Then keep trying to repeat it!
It takes feeling out the right… well, feelings to find the medium that works for us. To find what mental switch we have to click to turn it into a productive force. We ourselves are very much like computers, and like technology we do on occasion malfunction. We must try to diagnose the problem then come up with a viable solution or work-around so it stops causing issues and lets us keep at it, like our games or our productivity.
It’s tough, but others like you, and me, exist out there. We know the struggles, and we know how truly hard it is. But we are here to support you, whoever you are! Be the best you can be and do the thing! I believe in you ^^